Captain's Blog

The Olympic games, not without their controversy, are trundling along nicely with Great Britain in third place in the medals table, brilliant.

Cyclist Chris Hoy has become a triple gold medalist, the first Briton to achieve that feat since swimmer Henry Taylor back in 1908 in London. Knighthood on the horizon?

As for Michael Phelps, well, what can you say? Eight gold medals, loads of world records. It probably helped that the games were held in China, of course. Get one gold medal and a couple of hours later you want another.

Don’t know what it is about Chinese food. The Chinese I come into contact with at the moment all seem to be ravenous at roughly two hour intervals, and not just for a snack or a tapa but for a huge meal. Funny how certain images just pop into your mind.

All sports have their own individual championships, some, like boxing, have almost as many championships as they do boxers, but the ‘big one’ is always the Olympics, something a bit special.

There are the ‘regular’ Olympics, as it were, the Paralympics and, of course, the elitist offshoots such as the Gay Olympics. So, everyone gets to show off their prowess in their chosen sport.

Well, they don’t actually. There is one group who suffer blatant discrimination when it comes to participation in Olympic sport, or any sport for that matter, and in this day and age, when everyone seems to be bending over backwards to appease minorities and positive discrimination is the order of the day, it is absolutely outrageous that they continue to be overlooked.

What we need, in order to redress the balance, are the SterOlympics, a showcase for supermen and women (and the in-betweenies judging by some of the side effects) to show us what they can really do.

If a Vietnamese athlete can enhance her performance to achieve an overall 59th place in the gymnastics, just imagine what someone of the calibre of a Bolt or a Phelps could achieve! What a spectacle it would be.

It would be a team competition, but not on the basis of nationality, rather on the substance(s) being used. This would also give us the chance to see which drugs are the best and for which sport. There would be Team EPO, Team Nandrolone, Team Methyltrienolone - although I think they might have to change their name to make it more catchy for the public, The Mets maybe - Team Cocktail A etc.

All athletes, not just a random sample, would be tested prior to competition and anyone testing negative would be immediately sent home in disgrace.

It’s about time we ended the discrimination…