At least he answered the questions posed

Question Time viewers have criticised the BBC after the appearance of Charles Kennedy on the flagship political show last night. The former Lib Dem leader, who is a recovering alcoholic, gave confused and disjointed answers to some questions posed by host David Dimbleby.

Contains no nuts

Married TV actor wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN after he is drugged in Russian bar by attractive blonde working for organ traffickers Married actor should not, of course, have been in sauna with attractive blonde in the first place.

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Art swindlers selling fake Goya get paid in photocopied bills

Must be some total budget then

Senior teacher to be made redundant after councillors refuse to cut their own drinks budget by £44,000

It wasn’t until

I stopped reading the Daily Mail that I discovered that the BAFTA’s, Oscars, Golden Globes and Grammy’s weren’t actually Fashion Shows.

Spain offers to lead NATO Rapid Response Force in 2016

So, as long as any enemy gives three years prior written notice of intention to invade, fills out the necessary paperwork, does not begin hostilities in August (or Semana Santa, Feria season, Carnival season or at weekends), things should be perfectly fine. Sleep tight.