One man went to mow….and never came back?

Flicking through the pages of the Combat Hamster Breeder’s Weekly in between watching another riveting video of Conrad smoking a pipe, I suddenly had to make sure that April 1st hadn’t come early.

First we had Constable Cardboard, and now Leicestershire Council are to install sat-nav on their lawnmowers at a cost of £6,000! Are the loonies getting back in through the catflap, or what?

The move comes after gardeners apparently complained they kept getting lost in the long grass. Wet weather and sunny spells (isn’t that normal?) meant the Council had problems keeping up with the grass. Presumably they just kept losing the staff, so the next time you pass a clump of tall grass, don’t be too alarmed if you hear the mumbling and cursing of gardeners wandering around aimlessly in circles. Just give them a map and a cuppa.

It’s hard to imagine the grass getting that tall, though. Needless to say, the taxpayers are not too happy about this extravagance, particularly during a recession when the idea is to reduce expenditure, or spend it wisely. The Council, however, think it’s a great idea.

Keeping Leicestershire’s grass verges neat and tidy is important and I’m pleased we are embracing innovative technology. Following last year’s unprecedented amount of growth, we have also increased the number of cuts and staff.

The onboard computers will also be used to locate the long grass. Surely, if it’s that long, it will be pretty obvious without the need for computer and satellite technology! And how come the local residents never get lost in the grass?

A study is now being carried out to gauge the feasibility of installing radar and sonar on the Council tea trolleys so workers can monitor the progress of their morning cuppa.

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