Elf and Shifty madness

Police, firemen and paramedics refused to go to the aid of an accident victim who was drowning in eighteen inches of water because they ‘believed’ it was too dangerous.

A senior fire officer banned his men from using ropes and ladders to climb down a 15 foot embankment to the victim after carrying out a ‘risk assessment’. The slope of the embankment was about sixty degrees, so not exactly a cliff.

Ten police officers who attended the emergency acted on ‘advice’ and also failed to attempt to rescue the victim, 32 year old Karl Malton, a father of three, as he lay face down in the shallow water.

Instead, ‘Those who don’t Dare’ called for a water rescue team stationed some 50 miles away, and it was three hours before they eventually arrived on the scene. According to one report, when the relatives of the victim arrived on the scene, the ‘Emergency Services’ were standing around drinking tea.

This is not the first such scandal of this kind. Two years ago, an inquest heard how police and community support officers did nothing to try and save a ten year old boy from drowning in a pond in Wigan.

One of the problems appears to be that officers are no longer required to be able to swim and do not receive life-saving training. Someone has got to be kidding!

What next?

The Emergency Services arrive at a scene of devastation. A car has crashed into the front of a house and fire has broken out, trapping a group of people on the upper floor. One of the group has tried to escape by jumping from the window, landing in the garden pond and now, unable to swim, is thrashing around wildly.

Homeowner: ‘Thank goodness you’ve arrived.’

Chief: ‘Don’t worry, sir, we’ll soon have everything sorted’.

Homeowner: ‘You should be able to get the ladder up to the roof without any problem’.

Chief: ‘Slight problem there, I’m afraid, we’re not trained to use the ladder. Don’t know how it works, to be honest. Don’t worry, sir, we’ll soon have everything sorted’.

Homeowner: ‘Of course. So you’re just going to hose the fire?’.

Chief: ‘Slight problem there, I’m afraid. We’ve carried out a quick risk assessment and if we roll out the hoses, someone could trip over them and end up with a nasty bruise. Don’t worry, sir, we’ll soon have everything sorted’.

Homeowner: ‘You’re surely not going to try and use buckets of water!?’.

Chief: ‘Absolutely not. Absurd idea. They’re far too heavy. I can’t have my men risking serious injury now, can I? Don’t worry, sir, we’ll soon have everything sorted’.

Homeowner: ‘Of course not. But exactly what are you going to do?’.

Chief: ‘Fancy a cuppa?’

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