Apples don’t grow on trees, you know

John Mason (no relation to Katie Price*) gathered up his bruised windfall apples and like a good citizen, put them in the wheelie bin reserved for ‘garden waste’ and trundled it out for the environmental waste products operatives.

Imagine his surprise when, retrieving the wheelie bin, it was still full and had a ‘contaminated’ sticker on it.

Apparently, contrary to popular belief, apples don’t grow on trees. Must note that for future reference, alongside the pictures of a radio and vodka bottle I took to prevent confusion.

Apples are kitchen waste, believe it or not, according to the Council bureaucrats.

As far as the ‘contaminated’ sticker goes, spoiled fruit or vegetable peelings may have been inside a kitchen and come into contact with uncooked meats and it is apparently difficult, if not impossible, for environmental waste products operatives to determine whether or not such a situation has occurred.

They don’t wear gloves then? They don’t just tip the entire contents, untouched and usually by mechanical means, into a huge lorry then?

Somebody (undoubtedly the poor taxpayer as usual) is paying for these people to be employed to dream up these strange ideas.

* As it appears that Katie Price is deemed worthy of daily media coverage, regardless of whether she is doing anything or not, we are just ‘doing our bit’.

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