A bin too far…

You just can’t get away from rubbish making the news in the asylum at the moment as jobsworths try and upset every section of the community.

It won’t be long before you need a measuring stick, weighing scales, calendar, colour-code chart and chronometer just to put your bin out!

Gordon Morris, aged 70, trundled his wheelie bin down to the end of his driveway ready for it to be collected. Not wanting it to block the pavement and hinder pedestrians (which would probably result in a fine and a criminal record at the very least), he left it right in the driveway itself.

And, lo and behold, it wasn’t collected. Must have been because the binmen didn’t see it. No. They saw it alright, but they refused to empty it. So why?

Council rules state that bins must be placed within one metre of the kerb if you want them to be collected and emptied. The location of Mr Morris’s bin meant that the binmen would have to walk a staggering 18 inches further in order to collect it. No wonder they baulked at the prospect, as I’m sure we all would without having undergone any endurance training.

It has taken a fight with the Council, but Mr Morris has now been granted special dispensation to have the wheels of his bin protruding onto the pavement. It still means the binmen have to walk an extra 9 inches, but it does mean it will get emptied and Mr Morris won’t get into trouble for blocking the pavement.

However, and the cynics amongst us would see this as a form of having the last word, the Council reprimanded Mr Morris for having a bin which was too heavy! He has been ordered to leave out some of the leaves and twigs he puts in there as they are a health and safety hazard and could cause injury to a refuse collector if they happened to fall out.

One can just picture a binman being flattened by a falling clover leaf. Does that mean they’re not allowed to walk under trees in case a leaf or a twig falls? Better get that tree at the end of the driveway properly insured, just to be on the safe side…

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