Waste no time

The eruption of Eyjafjallajökull (try saying that even before you’ve had a drink) caused air chaos throughout the world. A little strange to have ‘air chaos’ when we are all stuck on the ground. Purists, of course, may argue that it is a little too early to be making jokes about the volcano and that we should at least wait a while for the dust to settle.

It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over Europe.

Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it.

Volcano in Iceland. What next Earthquake in Asda?

Woke this morning to find every surface in the house covered in a layer of dust and a foul stench of sulphur in the air. No change, I’ve been married to that bone-idle slob for 20 years.

I came out my house yesterday and was hit on the head by a bag of frozen sausages, a chocolate gateau and some fish fingers. I realised it must be the fallout from Iceland.

Waiter, there’s volcanic ash in my soup. I know, it’s a no-fly zone.

I’m voting for Eyjafjallajokull to become Prime Minister of England. It’s done more in the last week than Labour has in 10 years to stop immigration.

The volcanic ash from Iceland disrupted air travel all over Europe. Everything’s grounded. Commercial flights. Private jets. The only thing still flying — Toyotas.

Q:What’s the difference between the Iceland Volcano and Cheryl Cole?
A: The Volcano is still blowing Ash.

Icelandic Volcano? I thought the dust was coming from Man City’s trophy cabinet!

Dear Iceland, We said send cash, not ash.

There’s no pleasing the English. The last time they got the Ashes they were over the moon.

CNN reported: Emergency services were afraid they could be swamped by a torrent of melted ice. We believe the technical term is actually ‘water’.

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