Theatre checklist: kids? bouncers? Film crew? OK, let’s go

A busy and exciting day in showbiz world.

Victoria Beckham, her every move seeming worthy of front page attention, swapped her tight dress (remember, yesterday she struggled to negotiate some stairs in a super-tight creation?) for something more comfy and was able to put one foot in front of the other without too much trouble.

Meanwhile, Megan Fox got a parking ticket. And what made this such a noteworthy (full page) story? She was framed? No, she was parked illegally. She became violent, threw a tantrum? Nope. She was wearing shoes with six inch PVC heels no less. Dramatic stuff. Dangerous, too. But it didn’t sway the traffic warden.

As if this wasn’t excitement enough, Britney took her two sons to see Shrek the musical. Fancy a mother taking her two young children to see a show! Revolutionary. If she’s not careful, Ms Lipsync will be feted as a ‘doting mum’. She wasn’t yet, however, quite up to the task of actually looking after them both, one of them had to be carried by one of her ‘bouncers’! He is only four, after all, so obviously doesn’t have the proper use of his legs yet.

There was one piece of in-depth investigative journalism, an effort to clear up the mystery of the splodges on Amy Winegum’s nose as she made her way to a dental appointment. Were they freckles (she does have freckles), were they body art, or simply splodges resulting from the hasty application of make-up?

After consultation with a dermatologist from the The London Dermatology Centre (yes, seriously), the startling conclusion was that they had been drawn on, possibly with make-up, by Ms Wino herself. Phew, glad we got that one sorted out, the tension was unbearable.

According to one report, Amanda Holden has obviously not been tucking in to the choccies because she managed to zip herself into a skin-tight orange dress. A bit misleading really as she could actually have been munching choccies galore, have been the size of a barrage balloon and zipping herself into an orange marquee tent (if they make such things), it would still have been skin-tight.

The day wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Katie Price, now would it? And she gets mentioned twice in one paper. Talking about her turbulent relationship with estranged husband, singer Peter Andre, she admitted that she actually wanted to put her arms around the singer and tell him everything was okay. However, she said she couldn’t get close to him. Bit difficult when you’re in Ibiza with your arms around a cagefighter, or somewhere else with your arms around a dressage trainer, or out on the town with your arms around….

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